餐厅 ~ Translate Server Error

一位北京餐廳老闆配合奧運外國商機，要製作中英文廣告看板，於是找到廣告公司。

製圖員: "請問牌子上寫些什麼呢？"
餐廳老闆: "就寫「餐廳」吧，中、英文都要喔。"
製圖員: "好的，明天來取吧。"

廣告公司製圖員不會英文，心裡嘀咕：這餐廳的英文怎麼拼呢？
於是在線上的翻譯網頁輸入「餐廳」，單字翻譯網頁很快就送回翻譯結果。
製圖員感嘆的說：「喲，這英文的詞兒還真他媽的長，都說了外國佬比中國人蠢啦，咱們寫兩個字就代表餐廳了，他們居然要用這麼多字母。要是被罰抄書的同學多慘啊。」

第二天，餐廳老闆來取，回家立刻掛上……

笑一笑,头脑灵活

有個老頭去看醫生，告訴醫生他的腸胃有問題。
醫生問他：" 你的大便規律嗎？"
老頭說：" 很規律，每天早上八點鐘準時大便。"
醫生說：" 那麼，你還有什麼問題？"
老頭說：" 問題是，我每天早上九點鐘才起床。"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
某天夜裡, 一名裸男叫了一輛計程車, 女司機目不轉睛盯著他看.
裸男大怒，罵：" 你他媽的沒見過裸男呀 ! "
女司機也大怒：" 我看你他媽的從哪裡掏錢 ! "
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

一位救生員向一名泳客抗議：" 我已經注意了你三天了，先生，你不能在游泳池小便。"
泳客：" 每個人都在游泳池小便。"
救生員：" 沒錯！先生，但只有你站在跳板上。"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

阿萍﹕" 為什麼【男】字上面是個田字呢？"
阿玲﹕" 因為古時候的男人都在田裡工作。"
阿萍﹕" 那為什麼下面要加個力字呢？"
阿玲﹕" 笨蛋！男人下面沒力還叫男人嗎！？"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

某大公司老闆巡視倉庫，發現一個工人，坐在地上看漫畫書。
老闆最痛恨工人在工作時間偷懶，便問：你一個月的月薪多少？
工人回答："三萬。"
老闆立刻叫秘書發給工人三萬塊，並且對著工人大叫："拿了錢給我. 滾！"
事後老闆問其他職員：" 那工人是誰介紹來的？ "
職員說：" 他不是我們公司的人，他是其他公司派來送貨的。 "
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

兩隻母雞在樹下聊天，對面走來一隻腳步不穩，無精打采，垂頭喪氣的公雞，一隻母雞, 問：
"怎麼啦？病啦？累成這樣？"
公雞說： "做點小買賣累成的。"
另一隻母雞跟著問： " 做啥買賣勞累成這樣呢？"
公雞臉紅，低下頭說：
"賣雞精。"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Best "Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
2. I’m not really out of the office. I’m just ignoring you.
3. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
4. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management
5. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/25.
   Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
6. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 or the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
7. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many of them did this over and over).
8. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352ND place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
9. Hi,I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by you PC for my response.
10. Hi! I’m busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don’t bother to leave me any message.
11. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
12. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ’Salmah’ instead of ‘Saiful’.

Don't copy if you can't paste

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He Said:
"The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"
The audience was in silence and shock.
The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"

Laughter and applause.

A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink.
He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"

The wife went ; "ah!" with shock and rage.
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "...and I can't remember who she was!"
By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water.

Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste !

十句话

1. 如果我们之间有1000步的距离, 你只要跨出第1步,我就会朝你的方向走其余的999步;
2. 通常愿意留下来跟你争吵的人, 才是真正爱你的人;
3. 付出真心, 才会得到真心, 却也可能伤得彻底. 保持距离, 就能保护自己, 却也注定永远寂寞;
4. 有时候, 不是对方不在乎你, 而是你把对方看得太重;
5. 朋友就是把你看透了, 还能喜欢你的人;
6. 就算是believe, 中间也藏了一个lie;
7. 真正的好朋友, 并不是在一起就有聊不完的话题, 而是在一起, 就算不说话, 也不会感到尴尬;
8. 没有一百分的另一半, 只有五十分的两个人;
9. 为你的难过而快乐的, 是敌人; 为你的快乐而快乐的, 是朋友; 为你的难过而难过的, 就是那些, 该放进心里的人;
10. 冷漠, 有时候并不是无情, 只是一种避免被伤害的工具;

Breathing Therapy

The nose has a left and a right side, we use both to inhale and exhale. Actually they are different, you would be able to feel the difference.

The right side represents the sun, left side represents the moon.

During a headache, try to close your right nose and use your left nose to breathe. In about 5 mins, your headache will be gone. If you feel tired, just reverse, close your left nose and breathe through your right nose. After a while, you will feel your mind is re-freshed .

Right side belongs to 'hot', so it gets heated up easily, left side belongs to 'cold'. Most females breathe with their left noses, so they get "cooled off"faster.

Most of the guys breathe with their right noses, they get worked up. Do you notice the moment we wake up, which side breathes faster? Left or right? If left is faster, you will feel tired.

So,close your left nose and use your right nose for breathing, you will get refreshed quickly. This can be taught to kids, but it is more effective when practised by adults.

This is an alternative natural therapy without medication.Give it a try...

60个实用小妙招 生活从此变轻松

1. 吃了辣的东西，感觉就要被辣死了，就往嘴里放上少许盐，含一下，吐掉，漱下口，就不辣了；
2. 牙齿黄，可以把花生嚼碎后含在嘴里，并刷牙三分钟，很有效；
3. 若有小面积皮肤损伤或者烧伤、烫伤，抹上少许牙膏，可立即止血止痛；
4. 经常装茶的杯子里面留下难看的茶渍，用牙膏洗之，非常干净；
5. 仰头点眼药水时微微张嘴，这样眼睛就不会乱眨了；
6. 嘴里有溃疡，就用维生素C贴在溃疡处，等它溶化后溃疡基本就好了；
7. 眼睛进了小灰尘，闭上眼睛用力咳嗽几下，灰尘就会自己出来；
8. 洗完脸后，用手指沾些细盐在鼻头两侧轻轻按摩，然后再用清水冲洗，黑头和粉刺就会清除干净，毛细孔也会变小；
9. 刚刚被蚊子咬完时，涂上肥皂就不会痒了；
10. 假如嗓子、牙龈发炎了，在晚上把西瓜切成小块，沾着盐吃，记得一定要是晚上，当时症状就会减轻，第二天就好了；
11. 吹风机对着标签吹，等吹到商标的胶热了，就可以很轻易的把标签撕下来；
12. 旅行带衣服时假如怕压起褶皱，可以把每件衣服都卷成卷；
13. 打打嗝时就喝点醋，立杆见影；
14. 吃了有异味的东西，如大蒜、臭豆腐，吃几颗花生米就好了；
15. 治疗咳嗽，非常是干咳，晚上睡觉前，用纯芝麻香油煎鸡蛋，油放稍多些，什么调味料都不要放，趁热吃过就去睡觉，连吃几天效果很明显；
16. 手腕长粗的MM想带较细的手镯，就不能硬带，应把手上套上一个塑料袋再带上手镯，非常好带，也不会把手弄疼，取下也是同样的方法；
17. 栗子皮难剥，先把外壳剥掉，再把它放进微波炉转一下，拿出后趁热一搓，皮就掉了；
18. 插花时，在水里滴上一滴洗洁精，可以维持好几天；
19. 把核桃放进锅里蒸十分钟，取出放在凉水里再砸开，就能取出完整的桃核仁了；
20. 把虾仁放进碗里，加一点精盐、食用碱粉，用手抓搓一会儿后用清水浸泡，然后再用清水冲洗，即能使炒出的虾仁透明如水晶，爽嫩可口；
21. 炒肉时，先把肉用小苏打水浸泡十几分钟，倒掉水，再入味，炒出来会很嫩滑；
22. 将残茶叶浸入水中数天后，浇在植物根部，可促进植物生长；
23. 把残茶叶晒干，放到厕所或者沟渠里燃熏，可消除恶臭，具有驱除蚊子苍蝇的功能；
24. 夹生饭重煮法：可用筷子在饭内扎些直通锅底的孔，洒入少许黄酒重焖，
25. 若只表面夹生，只要将表层翻到中间再焖即可；
26. 巧除纱窗油腻：将洗衣服、吸烟剩下的烟头一起放在水里，待溶解后，拿来擦玻璃窗、纱窗，效果真不错；
27. 只要在珠宝盒中放上一节小小的粉笔，即可让首饰常保光泽；
28. 桌子、瓶子表面的不干胶痕迹用风油精可以擦拭；
29. 出门时随时在包里带一节小的干电池，若裙子带静电，就把电池的正极在裙子上面擦几下即可去掉静电；
30. 不管是鞋子的哪个地方磨到了你的脚，你就在鞋子磨脚的地方涂一点点白酒，保证就不磨脚了；
31. 亨调蔬菜时，假如必须要焯，焯好菜的水最好尽量利用。如做水饺的菜，焯好的水可适量放在肉馅里，这样既保证营养，又使水饺馅味美有汤；
32. 夏天足部轻易出汗，天天用淡盐水泡脚可有效应对汗脚；
33. 夏天游泳后晒晒太阳，可防肌肤劳损等疾病发生；
34. 夏天枕头易受潮滋生霉菌，时常曝晒枕芯有利健康；
35. 多吃薏米小豆粥等潮湿健脾，可防暑湿；
36. 防失眠：睡前少讲太多话，忌饮浓茶，睡前勿大用脑，可用热水加醋洗脚；
37. 金银花有疏散风湿功效，金银花水煎取汁凉后与蜂蜜冲调可解暑；
38. 吃过于肥腻的食物后喝茶，能刺激自律神经，促进脂肪代谢；
39. 睡眠不足会变笨，一天需要睡眠八小时，有午睡习惯可延缓衰老；
40. 双手易变得干燥粗糙，用醋泡手十分钟可护肤；
41. 夏天擦拭凉席，用滴加了花露水的清水擦拭凉席，可使凉席保持清爽洁净。当然，擦拭时最好沿着凉席纹路进行，以便花露水渗透到凉席的纹路缝隙，这样清凉舒适的感觉会更持久；
42. 早餐多食西红柿、柠檬酸等酸性蔬菜和水果，有益于养肝；
43. 爽身止痒洗头或洗澡时，在水中加五六滴花露水，能起到很好的清凉除菌、祛痱止痒作用；
44. 葡萄含有睡眠辅助激素，常食有助睡眠；
45. 夏天多喝番茄汤既可获得养料，又能补充水分，番茄汤应烧好并冷却后再喝，所含番茄红素有一定的抗前列腺癌和保护心肌的功效，最适合于男子；吃酸性物质马上刷牙会损害牙齿健康；
46. 因外伤碰破皮肉时，在伤处涂上牙膏进行消炎、止血，再包扎，作为临时急救药，以药物牙膏效果最为显著；
47. 将白醋喷洒在菜板上，放上半小时后再洗，不但能杀菌，还能除味；
48. 喝酸奶能解酒后烦躁，酸奶能保护胃黏膜、延缓酒精吸收，并且含钙丰富，对缓解酒后烦躁尤其有效；
49. 皮鞋包皮放久了发霉时，可用软布蘸酒精加水（1：1）溶液擦拭即可；
50. 发生头痛、头晕时，可在太阳穴涂上牙膏，因为牙膏含有薄荷脑、丁香油可镇痛；
51. 蜡烛冷冻二十四小时后，再插到生日蛋糕上，点燃时不会流下烛油；
52. 白色衣裤洗后易泛黄，可取一盆清水，滴上二三滴蓝墨水，将洗过的衣裤在浸泡一刻钟，不必拧干，就放在太阳下晒，即可雪白干净；
53. 过多食用生葱蒜会刺激口腔肠胃，不利健康，最好加一点醋再食用；
54. 及时补充水分但应少喝果汁、可乐、雪碧、汽水等饮料，含有较多的糖精和电解质，喝多了会对肠胃产生不良刺激，影响消化和食欲。因此夏天应多喝白开水或淡盐（糖）水；
55. 天天早晨用豆腐摩擦面部几分钟，坚持一个月，面部会变得很滋润；
56. 空调室内温差不宜超过五度，即使天气再热，空调室内温度也不宜到24度以下；
57. 加酶洗衣粉剂放在温水中需要较长的分解时间才能使洗衣效果更佳；
58. 夏天，人的活动时间变长，出汗多，耗能过大，应适当多吃鸡、鸭、瘦肉、鱼类、蛋类等营养食品，以满足人体的代谢需要；
59. 头痛时把苹果磨成泥状涂在纱布上，贴在头痛处，症状可减轻；
60. 皮包上有污渍，可以用棉花蘸风油精擦拭;

買"東西"，為什麼不說買"南北"

南宋理學大家朱熹。
在未出仕前，家鄉有叫盛溫和的好友，此人亦是博學多才的人，一天兩人相遇於巷子內，盛手中拿著一個竹籃子，
朱熹問他：「你去那裡？」
盛回答說：「我要去買點東西。」
朱熹是以窮理致知研究學問的人，他聽盛的話，很好奇，隨即問道：「你說買東西，
為什麼不說買南北呢？」
盛溫和反問朱熹：「你知什麼是五行嗎？」
朱熹答：「我當然知道，不就是金、木、水、火、土嗎？」
盛說：「不錯，你知道了就好辦，現在我說給
你聽，東方屬木，西方屬金，南方屬火，北方屬水，中間屬土。我的籃子是竹做的，盛火會燒掉，裝水會漏光，只能裝木和金，更不會盛土，所以叫買東西，不說買南北呀。」
朱熹聽後唉了一聲說：「原來是這樣！」
原來買東西這個名詞還有這樣一個典故，未收到這篇故事前，還真是搞不懂，買東西的由來，為何會說買東西而不說買南北，看了這篇故事後才知道原來還有這樣一段插曲呢，古人的智慧真是蘊藏在我們的生活的點點滴滴中。

Meet the Hawaiian Spider that will make you smile

Scientifically, this tiny arachnid goes by the name of Theridion grallator – but it takes little imagination to see how it got its more popular name: the happy-face spider.

Found only in rainforests in the Hawaiian islands, the spiders have a vast range of patterns and colours on their abdomens – yet all come from the same species.

The amazing diversity is due to genetic variations, although the patterns may also change depending on diet.

The patterns may have developed as a way of confusing predators. The moment it takes an aggressor to work out whether the spider is prey or not provides a vital chance of escape.

However, the species, which was discovered in 1973, is now under threat from the introduction of non-native animals to the islands.

The most common form – or ‘morph’ – is plain yellow and has no smile. But other variations are plentiful – the ‘red front’ morph pictured here with a cluster of her eggs is the second-most common.

The spiders are 5mm (less than a quarter of an inch) long and live alone on the underside of leaves – except during their mating season and for the first 40 to 100 days of spiderlings’ lives, when they are still too young to fend for themselves.

Art of Human Face ~ photoshop

Art of Human Face by photoshop ~

Making Motorbike Using 'Recycle Watch'

A great idea use 'recycle watch' to produce a miniature Motorbike

MONEY Printing Process ~

oh, the way MONEY is making ~

Gorgeous Car Garage ~

Ever think of Build a Garage for beloved car, this is one of the option.

Amazing Shots ~

Coloring Feather ~